Stop Making Me Love You

A vibration on the bed next to me makes my head spin. Oh, please don't make me fall in love with you again tonight. I slowly pick up my phone. Yes, yes, it's from him. My heart sinks. Stop. Please. Stop. All I want is to move on, but I can't like this.

How's it going today? he asks.

Pretty good. What about you? How's work? I respond.

Uh, same old. How's the game going? he wonders.

Good. How do I beat this boss though? I ask in frustration. I can almost hear his smile as he explains it to me through the text message. I love him so much, but I can't tell him. No, I have to wait until I see him in person. I'll do it. I'll do it.

The conversation ends and I clutch my phone thinking about him. Every single night. Every single d**n night. He loves me, he loves me not. I scream internally. Why is this so hard?!? Why does he do this to me? I turn off my lamp and curl up in my sheets. Slowly, my mind begins to lose the battle against sleep and turns off. I love him. I love him.

Suddenly, he's here with me, though I know he's not really. He holds me close and I intertwine our fingers when our hands meet. I rest my head against his chest and let his heartbeat soothe me to sleep.

"I love you," I whisper, but I'm asleep before I can hear his imaginary response.

"Strong Independent Woman"

I'm a strong independent woman. Something that many people have told me and I know wholeheartedly. But I realized something about this phrase yesterday. During my Senior year of High School, I had a boy that I really liked. I still like him. He knows and we're still good friends. But yesterday we were playing a card game with some other friends, Nerts if you know how that goes, and he said, "You don't need to wait for him to play a card. You're a strong independent woman." A realization hit me like a ton of bricks when I got home and was thinking about it that night. 

I am strong, physically and emotionally. I am independent, I don't need people to complete my life or tell me what to do. I am woman, hear me roar. But more than that, I feel like this friend/crush was telling me something about our relationship. 

A little background first. We are both members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In the next year or so, he will be going on a Church mission to spread our religion. While I want a relationship to progress, I don't want to distract him from this calling. Even if he likes me, we both know it will be short lived.

Continuing on, this friend/crush has called me a strong independent woman before. This is not a first time thing. I realized that it's his way of friend-zoning me. Obviously we both still want to be friends, but more just isn't practical. With this simple phrase, he's telling me that I don't need him to complete my life. In a way, it's almost like he's encouraging me not to hunt for a guy, but let the guy hunt me. And honestly, I'm about 95% okay with this. The other 5% comes from me being a hopeless romantic and so I want a relationship. 

Anyway, that's is for today. Continue being strong independent people!

E.K out!

Fake

We live in a fake world.
Behind fake smiles and
"I'm doing good."
We play a game daily.
It's called,
"How long can I hide emotions?"
But I'm tired of hiding.
I'm tired of telling people,
"I'm doing ok."
Because it's a lie.
I want to say,
"I'm not good.
I'm not even okay."
I'm anxious and depressed.
The LGBT community is supressed.
My best friend can't be a girl,
Because she was born a boy.
My brother is disabled
By no fault of anyone.
I can't pay for school
Because it's college.
I'm lost in a big world.
I'm tired of pretending.
I don't want to grow up,
But that'd only be an ending.
How much longer must we hide?
Behind our fake smiles
There is hurt.
But don't show it!
If you show it you've lost.
Go straight to jail.
Do not pass go.
Do not collet $200.
We live in a fake world.
A world of game pieces
And dice.
But we are not rolling
For our fate.
And the winner
Takes it all.

If I Never Knew You Letter #10

Erza K. and Kid
42-42-564
Death City, Japan

Finnian

S-01-22-008

Phantomhive Manor

London, England

Dear Finni,

We're coming to England! Me and Kid that is. I can't believe it's been 10 years since we've seen each other. Okay, so that's an exaggeration. But still, 10 years since we all graduated High School. 6 since we've seen each other. I was so happy to hear you've settled in England. I hope it's been treating you well. Kid is off doing something, or else I'd make him sit down and write with me.

I don't think you ever knew L and I were dating, let alone he proposed. You wouldn't have even heard that he died 3 years ago. We got married a few days before he died. It was just us and the judge. I even have a 2 year old named Abigail. She loves Kid and even calls him "Uncle Kid."

We've been living in Death City ever since L's death. Abigail was born here and Kid let's me teach. I'm teaching math, of course. The kids groan a lot, but they'll thank me when some mystical creature asked how to find the circumference of a circle. 

We're excited to see you again and hope everything is good.

Your friends, 

                    Erza Kirkland and Death the Kid

I almost forgot! I wrote you a poem! I'll write it on the back. 

10 years ago

We graduate.

Now I know

Life is fake.

Hello again!

Goodbye past.

Say, my friend

Can you last?

This troubled life

And waters roll

Through all strife,

We've one great goal.

Some say, "Survival is all."

But somehow, we've stayed tall.

If I Never Knew You Letter #9

Erza Kirkland
60-42-015
Japan

Death the Kid

42-42-564

Death City, Japan

Dear Kid,

He's dead. Kira killed him. I don't know what to do. I"m going to come see you. You always know how to make things better. I just don't know what to do.

No, no, no.

It can't be true.

It can't be real.

I can't lose you.

I cannot face

This life alone.

Take my hand.

Take me home.

No, no, no

It can't be true.

It can't be real.

I can't lose you.

This life I've found

Is lost again.

Now so am I.

My world's at end.

I can't believe

You'd go away,

And leave me here

To face the day.

No, no, no.

It can't be true.

It can't be real.

I can't lose you.

Now life is over.

My pain's complete.

Just let me go,

So we can meet.

No! No! No!

It won't be true!

It won't be real!

I won't lose you,

Or I won't heal.

No, I won't heal.

I'm so lost Kid. You've known me for so long. You know how much this hurts me. I'm getting on a train to come see you as soon as I mail this. You'll probably get this before I arrive, because I have to find Kiku and get him to take me to Death city. I know you can help me Kid and heaven knows I need it.

Erza

If I Never Knew You Letter #8

Death the Kid
42-42-564
Death City, Japan

Erza Kirkland

60-42-015

Japan

Dear Erza,

I wish you'd be more cheerful.

This gloomy nature isn't like you.

You know I think Kira is full of bull.

To kill L, he has to act true.

These worries you have

Are very real, my friend.

But I do wish you'd laugh

And forget about an imagined end.

It seems the world com's to a close

But I promise life goes on.

We both know that path you choose

Is truly where you forever belong.

I wish you the best

Because you deserve it.

I know it's not eloquent but it describes how I reacted to your last letter. I am so excited for you. I hope to be invited, but I understand if you can't. Things have been good here but Kira's threat still reaches to us even. Several misters have died because of heart attacks and the weapons are scared they're next. I don't know what to do. I'm considering shutting the city down. but that'll only cause more panic. Right now I am organizing a group to find Kira. He may not be eatin ghuman souls, but he's more or less kishan in spirit. I hope to see you soon.

Your friend,

                 Death the Kid

If I Never Knew You Letter #7

Erza Kirkland
60-42-015
Japan

Death the Kid

42-42-564

Death City, Japan

Dear Kid,

You won't believe what's happened! Well, actually, you probably will, but anyway. L proposed! We're currently back in Japan. L is working on a case here. He wants me to stay with you for my safety, but that's stupid. He always remains perfect secrecy. Just in case you haven't heard, there's a person killing criminals with a heart attack. They're calling him Kira. L has deduced that he needs a name and a face to kill. but enough about him. 

Me and L are going to have a simple wedding. Without a date or flowers. It's just going to be spontaneous. I'll try and let you know. After all, I need my man of honor. But I hope you understand why it might not happy. My parents aren't even invited. I called and told them about it, but they weren't too happy. I am a grown woman though and they have to accept my decision. They do love L though and trust him with me.

L is afraid to dying on this case. I know he won't want to get married if he's going to die. But you know me. I'll insist on getting married. I don't live with "what-ifs" every well. On the other hand, I don't want to be a widow. But you can't have it all. I'll just enjoy every minute we get together. I wrote a poem that sums up my feelings very well. I don't have room here, but I'll put it on the back.

His voice calls to me,

The shadows flee.

I cannot live

Without him.

I don't know

How I did before.

But I know

I can't again.

If he dies,

Lay me by him

And let this be my tribute.

That the girl who loved

Died by the same power.

Your friend forever,

                             Erza Kirkland

If I Never Knew You Letter #6

To: Lawliet
From: Erza

I know you love me
And I believe
We can be
Together forever
As one being

On Earth being

Alive, I know

Things forever.

You and me

Are meant to be

This I believe.

If we believe

No being

Cannot be

In the know.

You and me

Can live forever.

Forever

To believe

In me

And being

In the know.

To be

Or not to be.

We need forever

To know

And believe

In our being.

I need me.

With only me,

I know "be"

Is my being.

Ever and forever.

Wish to believe

And know.

Being me

I know to be

Together forever is believe.

Lawliet, Lawliet, Lawliet! I'll use your real name every chance I get. I couldn't sleep, so I wrote this. Even now you're sitting next to me on your computer. Hopefully you'll find this before we leave. I love you so much. I don't haave much left to say, because you're right next to me. Know I love you forever.

~Erza

If I Never Knew You Letter #5

L
11-52-004
Japan

Erza Kirkland and Death the Kid

42-42-564

Death City, Japan

Dear Erza and begrudgingly Kid,

I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the airport. I got lost. Please don’t tell anyone else that I have a horrible sense of direction. I’ll meet you in Death City in a few days. Watari and Kiku will make sure I  get there.

To Kid: Yes, I did deduce your letter to me. I’ve decided that you are a normally silent young man who becomes uncontrollable when when those you love are threatened. Fear not, I have no intention of hurting your precious cousin.

To Erza: I very much enjoyed the poem you sent me and have decided to sent my own. I’ll add it at the end. You know I love you, but my reasoning has deduced that if I don’t tell you, your love for me will decrease by approximately 10%. So, I love you my darling Erza. At this point, I would add some fluffy compliments, but this is not a private letter. Therefore, I will save those for when we see each other.

With that, I bid you both farewell. Hopefully you will see me before you see this letter, but in the chance you don’t, know I will be arriving soon.

Beauty illuminates your face.

Seeing each other is a gift.

What keeps us apart is always a case.

I know you have bought something lace.

When I see you, your eyes will lift.

Beauty illuminates your face.

We both work at constant pace.

Sometimes we are miffed.

For what keeps us apart is always a case.

To your side, I now race.

Hurry, to seal the rift.

As beauty illuminates your face.

To your love, I make haste.

But always parted by the cliff.

Of what keeps us apart, always a case.

How I wish to take a mace

And as a knight, cause the shift.

Of beauty illuminating your face.

But what keeps us apart is always a case.

If I Never Knew You Letter #4

Death the Kid
42-42-564
Death City, Japan

L

11-52-004

Japan

Dear L,

I can't believe you're back in Japan. Please fell free to come to Death City. I would like to see you again. Erza talks so much about you. Sometimes I wonder if you're the guy she is dating. But then she tells me how romantic he is and I can't suspect you. You're too straight forward for that. Besides, we're meeting him at the airport. But then again, she has been calling him John Doe. Let me tell you something L, if you break her heart I will f***ing break your f***ing face. Don't play your sh**y games with her either. She may be naive, but she doesn't sit around for that s**t. By the way:

Careless

1. The feelings that make love.

2. How could you, of all people, do that?

3. The choices that she's made.

4. The reasons you won.

5. The way you act.

I guess you could call this letter a threat, no. Do that. Call it a threat and deduce my words the way you always do. Don't try and us decoys with me either. I've felt your soul resonance and I know how to find you. Yes L, you can run, but you can never hide.

I can't wait to see you at the airport on Thursday and I'm sure you'll get this before then. Until Thursday.

-Death the Kid

If I Never Knew You Letter #3

Erza Kirkland
60-42-015
Siberia, Russia

John Doe

11-52-004

Wammy's House, England

My dearest John,

How I wish you'd let me use your name! I hate loving you secretly. I know we've been texting and calling, but I just had to write at least once. I miss you terribly. All the boys have treated my like perfect gentlemen. Feli was the only one who flirted even a little and I'm sure he didn't mean it. I wrote a poem just for you!

The snow flutters to the ground.

I can't help but think of you.

I hear your voice all around.

And in my heart, I know you're true.

I can't help but think of you.

You visit me in dreams at night.

And in my heart, I know you're true.

But then you're gone in morning light.

You visit me in dreams at night.

I heard your voice all around.

But then you're gone in morning light.

When the snow flutters to the ground.

Proof that I am thinking of you. I wrote Kid about you. I hope he approves. I know you think it's silly, but he's my best friend and 4th cousin. His opinion matters as much as my parents. In a few days I'll see him and you again. My two important men. I'll let you solve your puzzles now. 

XOXO Love,

                    Erza Kirkland

If I Never Knew You Letter #2

Death the Kid
42-42-564
Death City, Japan

Erza Kirkland

60-42-015

Siberia, Russia

Dear Erza,

I'm glad to hear you're doing good. I can't wait to see you as well. You know I've never been one for writing on paper, or writing in general. Has it really been 3 years since we've last seen each other?

Not much has happened here. Liz and Patty keep me somewhat sane. Make and Soul are officially dating now. took them long enough. Black Star is still annoying, though Tsubaki has mellowed him a little bit. Just a little, like a grain of sand. The little d**k.

I've been taking really good pictures lately. I have to tell you about this waterfall I found. There was a blanket of moss on the rocks sleeping next to it and the water swayed like drying blankets in a crisp summer wind. I closed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming. When I opened my eyes, the blanket of water continued to flow in a soft symphony sound. It was like the gently flow of an oboe and not the raucous blast of a trumpet. I sat down and almost didn't want to nap a picture and invade the peace. But I snapped it anyway and now I have a picture worth a million words.

I can't wait to show you around. Kiku's been in thought with me as well, so I'll be with him at the airport when you come. John sounds like a wonderful guy, but I can't be sure until I meet him. As long as he doesn't hit my shoulders. I'll see you in the next few weeks, but for now I have to deal with some keshan. 

Your friend,

                   Death the Kid

If I Never Knew You Letter #1

Erza Kirkland
60-42-015
Siberia, Russia

Death the Kid

42-42-564

Death City, Japan

Dear Death the Kid,

Darkness falls in the city.

Darkness falls in the city.

Light illuminates my thoughts.

Light illuminates my thoughts.

My thoughts falls in darkness.

The city illuminates light.

Please don't leave me.

Please don't leave me.

I never wanted to be abandoned.

I never wanted to be abandoned.

To be never wanted me.

Please. I don't leave abandoned.

Words fly across the page.

Words fly across the page.

I think I'm going crazy.

I think I'm going crazy.

Going crazy, I think I'm across.

The page fly words.

Thoughts fly across crazy.

Words illuminates my abandoned darkness.

Please falls going in the city.

Don't I never think I'm me?

I wanted to be the page.

Light. Leave.

It's called a paredell. I wrote it thinking of you. Please excuse my imperfect writing. I'm trying my best. Now, onto my letter. I've been travelling this summer. Arthur met me in England and Francis took me through France. Then Antonio showed me Spain. Lovino picked me up and we took a short boat ride to Italy. I got seasick and Lovi cussed at the captain. Feliciano was thrilled when we landed. After I stopped wanted to throw up, we had pasta. Lots and LOTS of pasta. all the countries had to show me around. It was an interesting way to tour Europe. I'm in Russia with Ivan now. He gave me a bouquet of sunflowers. They're beautiful. I'm on the Trans-Siberian Railroad train right now. I'll be in Japan in two weeks. Kiku's metting me at the airport and taking me straight to Death city. I can't wait to see you again. Has it really been 7 years since high school and 3 since we last saw each other face to face? I be you haven't changed at all. It's sad we won't be able to spend much time together, but it's all precious. I almost don't want to go back to work.

John is meeting me at the airport as well. You'll get to meet him face to face. I hope you approve. You know how important it is for me that you do. I've already told you all about him, but he's so adorable and sweet! Just like his cake he always eats.

I hope everything is well in Death City. Until I see you next Kid!

Your friend forever,

Erza Kirkland                                                                              

If I Never Knew You

June 6, 2072

These letters are what remains of the correspondence between my mother, her best friends, and my father between the years 2022-2025. Mom gathered and saved them carefully in her last years. She died May 14, 2072.

Let's Talk Chat Rooms

I guess I'm actually going to try and blog and we'll see who actually cares, but as a Senior in High School graduating in two weeks, my life is very interesting. We'll start with something that happened recently.

About a week ago, due to mere boredom, I decided to enter a chat room. It was the worst decision of my life! Not only was everyone only looking for sex/sexting they all acted incredibly stupid. And as soon as I logged on as a young female, I didn't give my real age, all the supposedly male users were on me like...like...a moth on a light. But not as graceful. More like a bunch of sea lions coming out of the sea. It was embarrassing for the male population. These "men" (because you can never be sure on the internet. I am not criticizing their manhood based on their actions) are the reason men have a bad reputation in our society.

The one "man" (see previous quotation marks note) that was decent that spoke with me was actually a delight. He used proper grammar, capitalization, punctuation, and made no attempted to ask me about my relationship status or location. We actually had a very decent conversation until I decided I wanted to go to sleep.

Okay, so what I'm trying to say is that you really should listen when people tell you not to go onto chat rooms. Because you really don't know what's going on and who's there. Unless you make a private chat room only for you and your friends, but with text nowadays you don't really need that. Also, chat rooms are capable of destroying your sanity. So. Many. Idiots. And they're all obsessed with sex. Unless you're into that kind of stuff, in which case my blog is probably not for you, do not enter a public chat room! Let me repeat. DO. NOT. ENTER A PUBLIC CHAT ROOM! If you're anything like me, you will regret it. But on the other hand, if you're anything like me, you now need to see what I'm talking about. If this is the case, please. Please! Do not use your real name or anything that could be used to trace you. Also, enter your age as something not your real age. So teens, because I'm guessing that's my audience, should enter their age as something in the 20's. \

Please be careful out there on the interwebs guys!

E.K. out!

My Favorite Poem Is...

Footprints in the Sand


        One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
             Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
                  In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
                       Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
                           other times there were one set of footprints.

                                  This bothered me because I noticed
                                that during the low periods of my life,
                             when I was suffering from
                         anguish, sorrow or defeat,
                     I could see only one set of footprints.

          So I said to the Lord,
      "You promised me Lord,
         that if I followed you,
             you would walk with me always.
                   But I have noticed that during
                          the most trying periods of my life
                                 there have only been one
                                       set of footprints in the sand.
                                           Why, when I needed you most,
                                          you have not been there for me?"

                                 The Lord replied,
                          "The times when you have
                  seen only one set of footprints,
          is when I carried you."
                                                   Mary Stevenson


This is my favorite poem, because I am a very religious person and this poem came to me at a time when I most needed it. It reminds me that the Lord is always there for me, no matter what I may do or what may happen.

A Royal Legacy-Excerpt

Alexia-Chapter One

The crowd around me cheered for blood. The blood of the last royal as she made the lonely trek towards the guillotine. He long black hair was dirty and hugged pieces of leaves and twigs close. Her green eyes held the smoke of a fire recently put out. She looked at me briefly, before turning her head upwards towards the leader of the revolution that demanded her death. I followed her gaze and gripped my younger brother, Jammy’s hand tightly. Dad had told us not to come. That we weren’t allowed. But we came anyway. Our leader looked down on her with cold eyes that broke my heart.

“Any last words?” the executioner asked. She continued to look up into the balcony seat where our leader sat.

“I love you!” she shouted. Her voice was carried away by the screams of the people around me. She kneeled and placed her head under the blade. I turned my brother around, hugging him to my chest tightly, and covering his ears. I looked back up to our leader. I could see his will cracking as he suddenly stood and gripped the railing of the balcony.

“No! No, stop!” he yelled. His voice was ignored as the blade dropped. With a sickening sound, the deed was done. I grabbed my brother’s hand and ran through the crowd back home. Tears were in both of our eyes as we weaved in and out of people, desperate to get back to the safety of our house. No one noticed us and we made it back quickly.

“Well? Did you see?” Grandma asked from her chair by the fire. Her gray hair was pulled  back into a tight bun and she looked at us with sad brown eyes. I nodded, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. Grandma opened her arms to us. Jammy went running to her and sobbed against her. I remained where I was.

“I’m going to my room,” I stated, before running there. I locked the door behind me and sat on the bed. Grabbing my pillow, I hugged it close to myself and cried. I looked down and noticed a stack of papers that were bound together. With a shaking hand, I reached out and grabbed them. On the front, in elegant script were the words, “The Last Royal.” I flipped the page open and began reading.


A note from Erza: This is an idea that I've been nurturing for quite a few years. It started when I was learning about the French revolution and I came up with the idea of an Anastasia like Princess set in a French culture in a fictional world. It's only recently that I've decided to start from Alexia's point of view. I'm really excited to continue writing this and hope you, dear readers, enjoy it.

Repressed Love

I love him. For how long, I don't know. But I love him. I just realized it, two seconds ago, when he texted me in class.

"Sooo bored." I smiled and texted a quick reply.

"Ikr?!" I wait eagerly for the next text, but it never comes. Did I send the wrong thing? Did he ever get my message? Was his phone taken away? Maybe he's just doing his work like a good student. The bell rings and class ends. He's waiting outside my classroom door for me. He smiles wide and moves, but seems to freeze. What's wrong?!

"I'm sorry. I can't allow this to go on. I'm dating someone else," he says. My heart drops. I force a smile.

"I am too, so it's for the best," I answer. We are both lying, because it's not acceptable to love another man.

Double Life

My claws dug into the earth as I stalked the moose. A flash of grey fur, and my lunch was gone. I growled and chased after the two. I saw the body of the other wolf and over-passed him quickly, giving him a snarl as I went. I quickly caught up to the moose and jumped, landing on her back. My claws found flesh, and my teeth snapped her neck. I turned to see the other wolf run up. I crouched, ready to attack and defend my meal. His tail wagged and then dropped. He sat, showing he didn't want to fight. I growled, but didn't relax. He whined. I noticed he was young, only about a season old. I turned my back to him and started eating. I heard his soft paws padding behind me. I flicked my tail in annoyance. Hurry up and eat, I was telling him. After eating my share, I loped off into the forest without another look at the young one. When I got to my den, I heard crunching. My ears popped up, alert. I smelled the young one and stood. He paced just outside my den, pleading. 

“Come in,” I growled. He joyfully bounded in. “Don’t get cozy.” 

“I’m Silver,” he whined.

“Yellowstone,” I growled back. 

He barked out a laugh, “Like the park.” 

“My pack name.”

“You've traveled far,” he noted.

“Your pack, pup!” I demanded. 

“Dead,” he said whining. 

“Name?” 

“Unknown.” 

“Alpha Male and Female.” 

“You’re Miss Interrogator.” 

“I’m your senior. Alphas?” 

“Dirt and Cloud,” he growled. My tail dropped.

“People?” I asked. 

“Fire. I don’t know if anyone else survived.” 

“You’ll stay with me until we find someone from your pack. If we ever do,” I told him. 

I curled up to sleep and the young one did the same. It was a restless night for me. The young one constantly twitched and when he was finally still, nightmares haunted me. Guns firing in the air and the howls of wolves nearby. When I woke from my sleepless night, the young one was still sound asleep. I gently nudged him awake with my shoulder. 

“We move on to find your pack,” I told him. He snarled and I glared at him. “Not a morning wolf are you?” To that comment he tried to take a chunk out of my leg. “Fine, you can find food and your pack by yourself!” I loped out and ran north. He didn't follow, at least that I noticed. I checked again and willed myself to change. I felt my claws change to nails and my paws to hands. Then I grew hair instead of fur. The process was slow. A few minutes later, I was in my human form. I curled my fist, watching my very human hands. Hands that could kill so surely and suddenly. 

“Stacy?” a voice called. 

“Here,” I called back. I moved to grab the pants and shirt I had stashed nearby nearly a month ago. I heard a rustle that wasn't mine and saw the young one. “Silver, away,” I told him with a flick of my hand. I was afraid for his life. He seemed to understand and he ran away. The man came into view just as I was pulling my shirt over my head.

“Stacy!” he called dropping his gun and running to me. I opened my arms and hugged him. “What on earth do you do out here?” he asked.

“Find myself Travis. I spend time with the animals and make observations,” I answered. Travis just shook his head. 

“It’s dangerous. And you've lost your backpack again,” he noted. 

“Travis, you worry too much. I know how to survive off the land,” I rebuked him. He smiled cheekily and scooped me up bridal style. 

“Come along dear. Let’s go home,” he suggested and began walking through the woods. I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed my ear over his heart. I heard it beat and smile. My sensitive hearing could hear better than any human, and it was a comfort. I also heard a quiet movement in the bushes behind us. I knew it was Silver from the scent and the sounds weren't being covered at all. We made it to a quaint log cabin, still in the middle of nowhere. Travis kicked the door open, stepped in, then kicked it closed. He brought my lips to his and kissed me passionately. 

“I miss you. Every single time,” he said when we pulled apart.

“I miss you too,” I answered. He pulled me back in for a kiss, the taste of beer and jerky on his lips. I pulled him to me tighter, trying to savor his flavor. I didn't know how long I could hide it from him, but I knew I had to. If I didn't, he’d kill me and all my wolves I've desperately protected. I pushed the thoughts from my mind and enjoyed the moment of being with him. In that moment, that was all that mattered.

Lovefallen

She texted me immediately.

“I promise.”

Were the words she cried.

I didn't do it, I didn't try

To take him from your side.”

My heart has dropped,

A dose I needed.

Of cold hard reality.

She says the words,

But doesn't mean

What I realize.

He’s not thinking of me.

I am not in his thoughts.

He’s my white knight,

But am I his princess?

The thoughts engulf me,

And I’m sad.

“It’s not their fault,

I tell myself.

“No one to blame but me.

I let him in and take control

And now I pay the price.”

I hope of better days to come.

Maybe he’s waiting for Prom.

But the thoughts still follow,

“Was I wrong?”

I keep this all inside myself,

Never let him see.

The feelings that I wish

He knew deep inside of me.

I cannot blame him,

Depression lies.

I know I am enough.

But still I fight

And work and try

To be noticed in this world.

“Time to let it go.”

I tell myself.

“You aren't going to die.

You still have friends

That love you so.”

I know! I know! I cry.

But can I heal

This open void

Deep inside my soul?

I know I will,

But for now

It’s time to let it go.

Society-Erasure based off of a local newspaper

If you

Together, twist
Style.
Room,
Including prosperity,
Between socializing
And trend
Should compromise.

Is it true?

Yes.

Erasure-Based of Erase me by Ben Folds Five

Five at most.
Half gravity

Erase what you do.
Know I left you
To find you.

You're crazy
Memory knows
You taze me
You, solo,
Erase shouting,
Erase baby.
Know the home
Can never guess.

Dream-Erasure based off of a local school newspaper

Coping

In years.

Rejecting help.

Alone for Seventeen Years

People have

Put on

Cheep

Time

Love

And Friends.

I will

Dream with it.