If I Never Knew You Letter #1

Erza Kirkland
60-42-015
Siberia, Russia

Death the Kid

42-42-564

Death City, Japan

Dear Death the Kid,

Darkness falls in the city.

Darkness falls in the city.

Light illuminates my thoughts.

Light illuminates my thoughts.

My thoughts falls in darkness.

The city illuminates light.

Please don't leave me.

Please don't leave me.

I never wanted to be abandoned.

I never wanted to be abandoned.

To be never wanted me.

Please. I don't leave abandoned.

Words fly across the page.

Words fly across the page.

I think I'm going crazy.

I think I'm going crazy.

Going crazy, I think I'm across.

The page fly words.

Thoughts fly across crazy.

Words illuminates my abandoned darkness.

Please falls going in the city.

Don't I never think I'm me?

I wanted to be the page.

Light. Leave.

It's called a paredell. I wrote it thinking of you. Please excuse my imperfect writing. I'm trying my best. Now, onto my letter. I've been travelling this summer. Arthur met me in England and Francis took me through France. Then Antonio showed me Spain. Lovino picked me up and we took a short boat ride to Italy. I got seasick and Lovi cussed at the captain. Feliciano was thrilled when we landed. After I stopped wanted to throw up, we had pasta. Lots and LOTS of pasta. all the countries had to show me around. It was an interesting way to tour Europe. I'm in Russia with Ivan now. He gave me a bouquet of sunflowers. They're beautiful. I'm on the Trans-Siberian Railroad train right now. I'll be in Japan in two weeks. Kiku's metting me at the airport and taking me straight to Death city. I can't wait to see you again. Has it really been 7 years since high school and 3 since we last saw each other face to face? I be you haven't changed at all. It's sad we won't be able to spend much time together, but it's all precious. I almost don't want to go back to work.

John is meeting me at the airport as well. You'll get to meet him face to face. I hope you approve. You know how important it is for me that you do. I've already told you all about him, but he's so adorable and sweet! Just like his cake he always eats.

I hope everything is well in Death City. Until I see you next Kid!

Your friend forever,

Erza Kirkland                                                                              

If I Never Knew You

June 6, 2072

These letters are what remains of the correspondence between my mother, her best friends, and my father between the years 2022-2025. Mom gathered and saved them carefully in her last years. She died May 14, 2072.

Let's Talk Chat Rooms

I guess I'm actually going to try and blog and we'll see who actually cares, but as a Senior in High School graduating in two weeks, my life is very interesting. We'll start with something that happened recently.

About a week ago, due to mere boredom, I decided to enter a chat room. It was the worst decision of my life! Not only was everyone only looking for sex/sexting they all acted incredibly stupid. And as soon as I logged on as a young female, I didn't give my real age, all the supposedly male users were on me like...like...a moth on a light. But not as graceful. More like a bunch of sea lions coming out of the sea. It was embarrassing for the male population. These "men" (because you can never be sure on the internet. I am not criticizing their manhood based on their actions) are the reason men have a bad reputation in our society.

The one "man" (see previous quotation marks note) that was decent that spoke with me was actually a delight. He used proper grammar, capitalization, punctuation, and made no attempted to ask me about my relationship status or location. We actually had a very decent conversation until I decided I wanted to go to sleep.

Okay, so what I'm trying to say is that you really should listen when people tell you not to go onto chat rooms. Because you really don't know what's going on and who's there. Unless you make a private chat room only for you and your friends, but with text nowadays you don't really need that. Also, chat rooms are capable of destroying your sanity. So. Many. Idiots. And they're all obsessed with sex. Unless you're into that kind of stuff, in which case my blog is probably not for you, do not enter a public chat room! Let me repeat. DO. NOT. ENTER A PUBLIC CHAT ROOM! If you're anything like me, you will regret it. But on the other hand, if you're anything like me, you now need to see what I'm talking about. If this is the case, please. Please! Do not use your real name or anything that could be used to trace you. Also, enter your age as something not your real age. So teens, because I'm guessing that's my audience, should enter their age as something in the 20's. \

Please be careful out there on the interwebs guys!

E.K. out!

My Favorite Poem Is...

Footprints in the Sand


        One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
             Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
                  In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
                       Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
                           other times there were one set of footprints.

                                  This bothered me because I noticed
                                that during the low periods of my life,
                             when I was suffering from
                         anguish, sorrow or defeat,
                     I could see only one set of footprints.

          So I said to the Lord,
      "You promised me Lord,
         that if I followed you,
             you would walk with me always.
                   But I have noticed that during
                          the most trying periods of my life
                                 there have only been one
                                       set of footprints in the sand.
                                           Why, when I needed you most,
                                          you have not been there for me?"

                                 The Lord replied,
                          "The times when you have
                  seen only one set of footprints,
          is when I carried you."
                                                   Mary Stevenson


This is my favorite poem, because I am a very religious person and this poem came to me at a time when I most needed it. It reminds me that the Lord is always there for me, no matter what I may do or what may happen.

A Royal Legacy-Excerpt

Alexia-Chapter One

The crowd around me cheered for blood. The blood of the last royal as she made the lonely trek towards the guillotine. He long black hair was dirty and hugged pieces of leaves and twigs close. Her green eyes held the smoke of a fire recently put out. She looked at me briefly, before turning her head upwards towards the leader of the revolution that demanded her death. I followed her gaze and gripped my younger brother, Jammy’s hand tightly. Dad had told us not to come. That we weren’t allowed. But we came anyway. Our leader looked down on her with cold eyes that broke my heart.

“Any last words?” the executioner asked. She continued to look up into the balcony seat where our leader sat.

“I love you!” she shouted. Her voice was carried away by the screams of the people around me. She kneeled and placed her head under the blade. I turned my brother around, hugging him to my chest tightly, and covering his ears. I looked back up to our leader. I could see his will cracking as he suddenly stood and gripped the railing of the balcony.

“No! No, stop!” he yelled. His voice was ignored as the blade dropped. With a sickening sound, the deed was done. I grabbed my brother’s hand and ran through the crowd back home. Tears were in both of our eyes as we weaved in and out of people, desperate to get back to the safety of our house. No one noticed us and we made it back quickly.

“Well? Did you see?” Grandma asked from her chair by the fire. Her gray hair was pulled  back into a tight bun and she looked at us with sad brown eyes. I nodded, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. Grandma opened her arms to us. Jammy went running to her and sobbed against her. I remained where I was.

“I’m going to my room,” I stated, before running there. I locked the door behind me and sat on the bed. Grabbing my pillow, I hugged it close to myself and cried. I looked down and noticed a stack of papers that were bound together. With a shaking hand, I reached out and grabbed them. On the front, in elegant script were the words, “The Last Royal.” I flipped the page open and began reading.


A note from Erza: This is an idea that I've been nurturing for quite a few years. It started when I was learning about the French revolution and I came up with the idea of an Anastasia like Princess set in a French culture in a fictional world. It's only recently that I've decided to start from Alexia's point of view. I'm really excited to continue writing this and hope you, dear readers, enjoy it.

Repressed Love

I love him. For how long, I don't know. But I love him. I just realized it, two seconds ago, when he texted me in class.

"Sooo bored." I smiled and texted a quick reply.

"Ikr?!" I wait eagerly for the next text, but it never comes. Did I send the wrong thing? Did he ever get my message? Was his phone taken away? Maybe he's just doing his work like a good student. The bell rings and class ends. He's waiting outside my classroom door for me. He smiles wide and moves, but seems to freeze. What's wrong?!

"I'm sorry. I can't allow this to go on. I'm dating someone else," he says. My heart drops. I force a smile.

"I am too, so it's for the best," I answer. We are both lying, because it's not acceptable to love another man.

Double Life

My claws dug into the earth as I stalked the moose. A flash of grey fur, and my lunch was gone. I growled and chased after the two. I saw the body of the other wolf and over-passed him quickly, giving him a snarl as I went. I quickly caught up to the moose and jumped, landing on her back. My claws found flesh, and my teeth snapped her neck. I turned to see the other wolf run up. I crouched, ready to attack and defend my meal. His tail wagged and then dropped. He sat, showing he didn't want to fight. I growled, but didn't relax. He whined. I noticed he was young, only about a season old. I turned my back to him and started eating. I heard his soft paws padding behind me. I flicked my tail in annoyance. Hurry up and eat, I was telling him. After eating my share, I loped off into the forest without another look at the young one. When I got to my den, I heard crunching. My ears popped up, alert. I smelled the young one and stood. He paced just outside my den, pleading. 

“Come in,” I growled. He joyfully bounded in. “Don’t get cozy.” 

“I’m Silver,” he whined.

“Yellowstone,” I growled back. 

He barked out a laugh, “Like the park.” 

“My pack name.”

“You've traveled far,” he noted.

“Your pack, pup!” I demanded. 

“Dead,” he said whining. 

“Name?” 

“Unknown.” 

“Alpha Male and Female.” 

“You’re Miss Interrogator.” 

“I’m your senior. Alphas?” 

“Dirt and Cloud,” he growled. My tail dropped.

“People?” I asked. 

“Fire. I don’t know if anyone else survived.” 

“You’ll stay with me until we find someone from your pack. If we ever do,” I told him. 

I curled up to sleep and the young one did the same. It was a restless night for me. The young one constantly twitched and when he was finally still, nightmares haunted me. Guns firing in the air and the howls of wolves nearby. When I woke from my sleepless night, the young one was still sound asleep. I gently nudged him awake with my shoulder. 

“We move on to find your pack,” I told him. He snarled and I glared at him. “Not a morning wolf are you?” To that comment he tried to take a chunk out of my leg. “Fine, you can find food and your pack by yourself!” I loped out and ran north. He didn't follow, at least that I noticed. I checked again and willed myself to change. I felt my claws change to nails and my paws to hands. Then I grew hair instead of fur. The process was slow. A few minutes later, I was in my human form. I curled my fist, watching my very human hands. Hands that could kill so surely and suddenly. 

“Stacy?” a voice called. 

“Here,” I called back. I moved to grab the pants and shirt I had stashed nearby nearly a month ago. I heard a rustle that wasn't mine and saw the young one. “Silver, away,” I told him with a flick of my hand. I was afraid for his life. He seemed to understand and he ran away. The man came into view just as I was pulling my shirt over my head.

“Stacy!” he called dropping his gun and running to me. I opened my arms and hugged him. “What on earth do you do out here?” he asked.

“Find myself Travis. I spend time with the animals and make observations,” I answered. Travis just shook his head. 

“It’s dangerous. And you've lost your backpack again,” he noted. 

“Travis, you worry too much. I know how to survive off the land,” I rebuked him. He smiled cheekily and scooped me up bridal style. 

“Come along dear. Let’s go home,” he suggested and began walking through the woods. I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed my ear over his heart. I heard it beat and smile. My sensitive hearing could hear better than any human, and it was a comfort. I also heard a quiet movement in the bushes behind us. I knew it was Silver from the scent and the sounds weren't being covered at all. We made it to a quaint log cabin, still in the middle of nowhere. Travis kicked the door open, stepped in, then kicked it closed. He brought my lips to his and kissed me passionately. 

“I miss you. Every single time,” he said when we pulled apart.

“I miss you too,” I answered. He pulled me back in for a kiss, the taste of beer and jerky on his lips. I pulled him to me tighter, trying to savor his flavor. I didn't know how long I could hide it from him, but I knew I had to. If I didn't, he’d kill me and all my wolves I've desperately protected. I pushed the thoughts from my mind and enjoyed the moment of being with him. In that moment, that was all that mattered.