A vibration on the bed next to me makes my head spin. Oh, please don't make me fall in love with you again tonight. I slowly pick up my phone. Yes, yes, it's from him. My heart sinks. Stop. Please. Stop. All I want is to move on, but I can't like this.
How's it going today? he asks.
Pretty good. What about you? How's work? I respond.
Uh, same old. How's the game going? he wonders.
Good. How do I beat this boss though? I ask in frustration. I can almost hear his smile as he explains it to me through the text message. I love him so much, but I can't tell him. No, I have to wait until I see him in person. I'll do it. I'll do it.
The conversation ends and I clutch my phone thinking about him. Every single night. Every single d**n night. He loves me, he loves me not. I scream internally. Why is this so hard?!? Why does he do this to me? I turn off my lamp and curl up in my sheets. Slowly, my mind begins to lose the battle against sleep and turns off. I love him. I love him.
Suddenly, he's here with me, though I know he's not really. He holds me close and I intertwine our fingers when our hands meet. I rest my head against his chest and let his heartbeat soothe me to sleep.
"I love you," I whisper, but I'm asleep before I can hear his imaginary response.
